Burnaby Burn

A whole bunch of Burkes.

So, we won. Hooray! 4-1 over the Whistler Warthogs. Goals by Jay, Stace, Burton and Ohashi made for a fun evening of awesome hockey and merriment.

Also, I have to eat my Delta Burke words from last week.

Rather than futz around with trying to find a “hot” picture of Delta Burke, I threw together the smattering of unrelated Burkes you see above ^.

1). Sean Burke – former NHL goalie, who looks like if Wints and Peif (from the Eagles) had a love child, turned television broadcaster has played for almost every NHL team ever, including the now defunct Hartford Whalers.

2). Matt Burke – former Australian National Rugby fullback and all-around superstar. You’d be hard pressed to name anyone from rugby, let alone one of the best!

3). Brian Burke – you have to admit, a dishevelled, haggard Brian Burke is almost hotter than a fat Delta Burke…

4). Delta Burke – hey, she’s kinda hot, I guess. Maybe. If I was drunk.

5). Brooke Burke – this is why you guys come to the site. Also, she’s much easier on the eyes than the previous 4 Burkes listed.

Anyway, way to go with the win, fellas. See you next Friday. Kurt – bring the pumpkin pie!

Like the Burn, Delta Burke was sexy, once, a long time ago.

Here’s the thing: We’re not that bad of a team. We’ve got some talent. We’re fun. We’ve got a little bit of speed. We’re just not clicking.

I have two theories, and they’ve led to some pretty introspective issues.

1). Posting a picture of Delta Burke on our website might remind us that we were once a sexy, dynamic team with nothing but a bright future ahead of us. Then we got fat and our future became our undoing.

We’re fat Delta Burke right now – reduced to the role of plus sized model; a gigantic, sad, and bloated version of our once hot selves. We need to get back to being hot Delta Burke before we die.

2). We need to listen to our captain. Dave has said the same thing over and over agian before, during and after each game. SKATE, fuckers. It’s easy.

Although it’s not nearly as easy when we’re fat Delta Burke. C’mon guys, let’s trim the fat. Let’s be hot Delta Burke. I’m not asking the world of you. Just enough to not be fat Delta Burke anymore.

It was close, sort of.

The score of the August 31 game was not even close to reflecting how well we actually played.

Consider this: we put Kenny up front and Steve on defence. Oops. Let’s re-jig that for next game. Kenny is a consummate defender and let’s face it, Steve is better leading a line.

Kurt’s debut was satisfactory. The main reason we had Steve on D was to help Kurt adjust to the Burn “system”. Changes to next game will include Kenny and Steve switching spots. Kurt is just fine on his own.

In other news, no word on Stace’s baby. At press time, I texted him and didn’t hear back, so he may be a daddy. More on that later.

Well, that’s it for now. Time to clean up the kitchen. The life of a beer league father knows nothing but lavish luxury.

Oh ya, next game is Friday, September 10 at 6:15pm.